RPGlitchy

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RPGlitchy
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  • I think all of the important characters should have unique names to make them different from the rest of the cast, but I wouldn't worry too much about it. Names are one of those things you can always change later.
  • Chapter 19Harshness of a Child Grey knew he shouldn’t do anything. That was because he was a weak child. No matter what happened. He should take the beatings with a smile. But even in his heart, there nestled a terrible coldness that did not wither.…
  • Chapter 18How to be Cruel In an chamber located inside the 98th Dungeon a group of children stood in front of a wooden platform. Another fat portly overseer, stood in front of them, shaking his fist. His face contorted in an ugly manner. He looked a…
  • I hope he does publish in the future, but right now he's in a position where he can get free editorial advice and interact with his core audience. Were I in his position, my next step would be to get 30 chapters stored up and proofed, and let the…
  • I think it's too early to say anything about pacing, grammar, or plot. I think once you have somewhere like 10 chapters. Then it'll be fair to talk about how to improve the story. Just be patient, be confident, and write stuff out. As long as you ar…
  • Chapter 17Largos De Varion In the 98th Dungeon in the Kingdom of Gahol. There can be said one of the largest reserves of ore in the world. The Primitive Dungeon, Largos De Varion. In a large camp in front of the dungeon cave, a caravan stocked with…
  • Chapter 16Lies within LiesDoyle looked blankly at Grey.“That’s right. The knights came a few days ago claiming the area was dangerous. They were evacuating people when it is said that monsters attacked. To think a whole battalion of knights were ann…
  • Wow! I thought I'd never see anyone person whose watched Chinese Paladin too! I got started by reading stuff by Wang Dulu's The Crane Startles Kunlun and later Huang Yi's Step in the Past. I think when you go straight to the source, and read books v…
  • So is there more story coming out or not? your sentence was quite unclear??but thanks anyways for writing this! its pretty good! Ah, I mean it's going to take forever to write down everything lol. It's a long story. 
  • Chapter 15The Ten Kingdoms Memories swirled in all at once. A lifetime spent in a small village. Grey could remember his mother telling him to wake up in the morning. His father ruffling through his hair. The feeling he had when he first time he wal…
  • lol I will not have a cliffhanger when the story is finished....Nvm....I'm never going to to be finished D=. 
  • I don't think you have to apologize! I mean work is work. Unless we get paid for posting our writing. I think just writing whenever you can is already good enough for all us moochers, haha. 
  • Chapter 14Wolf's Howl The night was still. A quiet calm that racked the nerves and unsettled the bones. Baylee approached the camp with caution, her staff ready by her side. The camp was sorted into the new arrivals, who had pitched up tents, and t…
  • Chapter 13Past and Present “Grey? Why do you want to become a hero?” Two children sat on a hill underneath a starry sky. They had arrived a night ago at the adventurer’s camp. The soft grass beneath their legs and a warm breeze in the air. It truly…
  • Chapter 12Monsters and Men In the depths of the darkness, there lay a boy and a girl. The darkness was a boding void. A damp wet rock brushed against Grey’s cheek and he awoke! Nearly, jumping up in fright, Grey sat upright, his hands searching for …
  • Chapter 11Mistress of Total Evilness “Haha, fear and obey me for I am the dark overlord!” shouted a young girl with blonde hair. She stood on a hilltop made out of sticks. Around her, children were on the ground bowing to her in reverence. A few chi…
  • ...Looks like a girl...Still a good drawing! (Can barely make a stick figure) Thanks for the chapter! Yes! Yes! Haha. Well. I don't know if he is too girly, but he is suppose to look feminine.  Edit: Also, I might need to work on a transitional chap…
  • Common guys! Delia was like sixteen or younger when they went to school....she met linley when they were both kids lol. She looks fine to me. 
  • If he revived them. Delia would not be happy.
  • I don't really see how things could be made 'right' from that situation. The Bagshaw clan is not to be messed with and Linley won't kill Mosi's grandchild even if only to return the favor he received in the past. Cesar not knowing about it may be be…
  • I also kind of wanted to share something I posted on my website. It's a picture of Grey! haha. I got it from miki4015. Cause one of my friends was like this sounds better if it were a manga. So I was like. Okay, then how about I go to a manga websit…
  • Chapter 10Adventurer's Camp The adventurer’s camp was located a few miles away from the entrance of the 139th Dungeon. In the beginning, the camp looked more like mounds of dirt piled up in a row. Earth was the easiest element to move, so parties of…
  • I find the picture really nice, but maybe make the font different, and also not use black for it, since it blends into the picture Hmm. I might use red. I'll see how it looks. I am not sure what colors go good with black and white. 
  • Chapter 9The Gaping Maw In the Great Yamato Mountain, there were two forests between Grey's village and Baylee's camp. The Kara Forest and the Forest of Brevis. The Kara Forest had been named after the word 'Care' which means to 'look after'. While …
  • If you are having trouble with formatting you can paste everything in the 'Paste as Text' button. It's the second farthest button to the right that has a 'T' in front of the folder. You can then change the size of the text after you paste your text …
  • Eh...the picture is too 'dark'  for DARK LORD SAGA!?!?! Not dark enough!? Hm. Quite a predicament. I shall reflect upon your words. Mwhaha.
  • Thanks for the spoilers!