Heretic of the Heavens [Working Title]

Hey guys, this is the first time I'm posting one of my scripts, I sometimes write them for fun, but I haven't got much confidence in them, so here's the first chapter of Heretic of the Heavens - Lotus City

A cool summer breeze rolled in, on the planes of Zin country. This summer was colder than usual, causing the demon beasts to hibernate longer. In a small valley, near the Ursine river resided a place called Lotus City. This city had stood the tests of time, being here long before the Mo, Han and Zin dynasties were ever established. A little city, which had been quietly residing for over a hundred millennia, not involving itself in the outside world. It’s not that nobody would ever leave the city, it’s just that they would never return. This is because of one rule, an unspoken but heavily enforced rule, whoever leaves can never come back. These were the words of the old city lord. A kindly man, who would rarely appear.

In the fiftieth year in the 3rd era, a child was born. He was born to the Kewang Clan. He was the only child of the clan’s second mistress that died in childbirth. As such the clan leader, Kewang Hai, treats him as dearly as one of his own sons, and although he is a bastard, he allowed him to take the family name. This child was called Kewang Tian. Although he was showered in love by his uncle, an existence, that is only second to the city lord, in all of Lotus City. Therefore, ensuring that he would never suffer the humiliation of being bullied by his fellow clan mates. But unfortunately, these ideals are often for naught. In-fact he is often shamed by his fellow clan mates and is shamed as the bastard of some strange man and the second mistress. He who is not of pure blood is disgusting in the Kewang Clan, of course, nobody would admit this in front of his uncle Kewang Hai…

All Kewang Tian ever wanted was to leave the Kewang Clan. This was the place of his humiliation, nobody treated him with any respect, apart from his Uncle-Patriarch (Kewang Hai) and second uncle-grand elder, Kewang Shui. Yet that wasn’t enough for Kewang Tian, he wants to explore the outside world. He wants to go out and find his father, who abandoned him to this fate. Kewang Tian has heard there are powerful immortals in the outside world, called cultivators. They channel something called Qi in their body, to make themselves those who would defy the heavens. As far as Kewang Tian knew there were several stages of cultivation… first of all, you had to condense the Qi, this, of course, is called the Qi condensation realm. After this, there’s the Body Construction Realm, this is where you infuse Qi into your bones there are 9 stages in both these realms. After this is the sea realm, the sea realm is where you draw in untold amounts of Qi into your body, allowing you to have a sea of it, he had heard that at the apex of cultivation one could be considered a true divinity. Many of the elders dear not too conservatively mention the name of these beings as they truly fear the repercussions and only heavens chosen could tread upon the path to reach these heights, although this had always confused Kewang Tian. He thought the very act of cultivation is going against the heavens, so, therefore, how can they be heavens chosen, if anything their heavens abandoned, and those that are at the apex should be known as the ultimate enemy of heaven. They could change the fate of empires, and men alike, this is why the heavens hated cultivators. “Hmm, all those that defy the will of the heavens are truly heinous people… but, if it looks like I’ll have to take the path of the defiant, I will be a heretic…”, this was the decision that Kewang came to…

3/7/59/3, (third day, of the seventh month, of the 59th year, of the 3rd era D/T will now be addressed in this manner).

Today was the day of the Kewang Clans awakening ceremony, an event where you have your martial spirit and body assessed. Although Kewang was only 9 he still wanted to watch it, as you must be 11 to participate today all eyes were on his older cousin Yun Kewang. Yun Kewang was the patriarch’s youngest son, and one of his only friends in the entire Clan. His older brother all had talent, which could be said to be in the upper echelons of the entire Lotus City. Two of them possessed Level 7 Martial Spirits, the War Giant is his third brothers, with the 7 Flame Lion as his second brothers, which means that they will have no trouble cultivating in the future and will get to the great sea realm with relative ease! Finally, his eldest brother even possessed a Great Spirit! He had a level 9 Earth Dragon! A formidable existence indeed! This is one of the best Martial Spirits the Clan had ever seen. It was even stronger than the Patriarchs and almost as high as the old founder of lotus city who was rumored to have a level 10 Martial Spirit! So, as you can imagine, there was a great pressure hanging over Kewang Yun’s head. He is at least expected to have a level 6 Spirit, many in the clan suspected that he could even have up to a level 9 Spirit like his eldest brother!

In the clan hall, which had a ceiling taller than 33 feet, there was a grand stage, with a podium in the center. On the podium was a rear crystal that all the Clans have, an awakening crystal. It was as pale as milk and was jagged all around, it looked like something a miner would salivate over, this special object is what shows your martial spirit before Qi Condensing realm.

It was already nine incense sticks in, by the time it was Cousin Yun’s turn to go next. It had been a good showing this year, there had been a wide variety of martial spirits awakening, and someone even woke a pure yang martial spirit, which was a huge surprise, if he cultivated well in the flame arts, his inner fire could allow him to become a great alchemist. This was because pure yang flames could burn far hotter than its competitors, and therefore make a far purer pill. The boy who awoke the pure yang spirit was called Kewang Jin! He could be said to have a bright future ahead of him and would one day become a pillar of the Kewang Clan in lotus city.

There had also been a young maiden of the called Kewang Feng. Kewang Tian always hated her, she was obnoxious beyond belief, just because she was the daughter of the elder of the Kewang Clan, and the daughter of the city lord. In Kewang Tian’s eyes she was just a prized horse up for a show, yet today she had proven her worth. “That Bitch, she awakened a level 8 Martial Spirit! The ice bird!” thought Kewang Tian at the time of its awakening, this was another tremendous gain for the Kewang Clan, as ice was a rare element to possess, and those with it often had a heightened combat ability, being able to fight those one stage higher than them!

Finally, it was Kewang Yun’s turn! “He must get a level 8 or higher spirit, otherwise we will both be bullied to the end of our days!” Kewang Tian thought. Breathing heavily, Kewang Tian watched him take one step at a time to the top of the podium. He took a heavy breath, almost turning purple, as the footsteps, were mirroring the hammering on his chest, “May the heavens hate you!” Kewang Tian thought silently in his head. As he got to the top of the stage and put his hand on the podium the hall that was full of discussion went dead silent. As Kewang Yun approached the crystal it was possible to see the sweat pouring from his brow, and his chest was visibly pounding. “The results of this will determine the rest our lives”, Kewang Tian thought.

Thanks For Reading Guys Would Love Some Feedback, and to hear if you want to read more!



  • Posted this in the wrong forum, that's embarrassing, going to put it in the correct section. 
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