Hand Of God(Chapter 9 is out)(Book cover is up)

edited September 2015 in Original Stories
Hello all so as you can guess this will be my original story which will be written by me for my own pleasure because reading someone else's story is not enough for me any more. xD My English is absolutely terrible I might or might not improve it through out the whole story but I hope I will... xP. I am only writing this story for my self and uploading it here just so it would save it and I wouldn't be able too loose it...and because you guys might be interested..might....be.... xD
(If you want to be my proofreader pm here or email me [email protected])
Genres:Martial Arts, Action, Fantasy, Comedy,Romance, Xanxia (not sure if I am any good at comedy tho, but there might be some comedy xp)


'Huh...ah..my head hurts.... where am I?' Yale talked to him self, after looking around he realised that it is some kind of hall, it was extremely big actually so big that he couldn't see the walls and only the floor and the ceiling. It was bright even though he couldn't see where the light was coming from. Next to where he was laying there was extremely big statue.

"Yale, this place where people go when they are at the edge of life and insanity, it is where people like you go, Yale you wished to disappear, and to be in place where weak can be come strong and strong can become weak." Mysterious, deep voice said in Yale's head.

'That's right...I died..' Yale thought, with bloody eyes.

"Yale get ready to experience heaven if you want to be strong and hell if you want to be weak. Get ready for the world of gods." Mysterious voice said, and suddenly bright light blinded Yale.                                                


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  • Latest chapter was pretty funny now I know why you named it that. 
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  • Ty bonifide xD
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  • I decided to write something that is based in completely different world xP because I just got this inspiration and so will write something a bit different. starting now. xd. tags are completely the same.

  • edited September 2015
    Book one, Chapter one:

    When the light diminished Yale appeared on a grassy lands and in the horizon A huge pillar could be seen and surrounding it was a town.

    When Yale looked around his body he realised that he was still the same. Blue eyes, black hair, bulky and chubby body about one meter thirty centimetres tall. Today is Yale's twelfth birthday. Although he looked the same, but he didn't feel the same, because he could barely stand as if the gravity was bigger.

    What he didn't is realise that there are millions others like him who just appeared on the grasslands, but not only that.

    "Aaaahh! Help me!" Non stop screams of people could be be heard, people were shouting in agony as they were being hunted by countless beasts.

    'What the hell is going on? where am I? who are all these creatures?" Yale had countless questions, because all the beasts attacking the people were all the same and only their fur looked a bit different from each other. The beasts looked like half wolfs, half panthers and hadd huge ears they were at least one meter tall. This wasn't the only shocking thing because everyone who appeared on the grounds were all different species, all different life forms! and all of them could talk! 

    "Grrrr!" Just then Yale heard terrifying sound coming from behind him, it was one of the beasts. Not having other choice but to run, Yale started moving, but in no way could it be called running as he could barely walk. 

    'I guess this it for me, I am going to die again, I wonder what will happen when I die here...' That's all Yale could think of, but he wasn't afraid, because he already died once, dying again wouldn't make much of a difference. 'I didn't wish to be in this kind of world, this is no different from my old one.' Yale couldn't help, but get angry, just then he stopped and looked, beast in the eyes, when the beast attacked him, just when everyone would think that Yale would attack as well. 

    Yale fell on the ground moments before the beast's claw reached Yale's face, unexpectedly he managed to dodge beast's attack. Right when beast was still in the air, Yale took out a knife out of nowhere, and by using beasts momentum as a cutting force, he split open the beasts stomach. 

    'I was extremely lucky to find a knife on the ground... I guess this is what the mysterious voice meant by, 'weak can be strong, and strong can be weak.'' Yale smiled and started walking to the city, there were hundreds of people laying around while beasts were snatching their internal organs, and eating them. When they finished eating their pray they would immediately search for someone else.

    Yale was disgusted, this is one of the most disgusting things he had ever seen, but he didn't feel sorry for the creatures at all, maybe because they weren't humans or maybe because he was cold hearted.
    One after another beasts attacked him, and unexpectedly using pretty much the same trick he would kill them one by one, the beasts weren't very smart. Or maybe because he was extremely short even for his age, and all the creatures that appeared on the the grasslands were almost two times bigger then him. Some were even triple his size. Because of this reason beasts chose to jump on Yale instead of biting their leg first, and trying to get the creatures down. 

    Unfortunately Yale's luck came to an end as a group of beasts approached him,'Oh hell no. What am I going to do now ? these fuckers are extremely fast no chance for me to run from them.'

    "Hey kid need help?" A voice carrying words which he hoped to hear, came from behind Yale. Yale turned back and saw a man with pretty bad clothes, they were tattered brown wardrobe, he had a backpack and bandages on his fingers and all over his arms. 'Who is this guy not only he looks useless, but poor to, but at least he is human like me.' Man seeing Yale's disappointment couldn't help but laugh disdainfully.

    "Old man you going to help with what ? better go if you don't want die from these beasts too" Yale said, and all the beasts started attacking Yale, but just then unexpectedly Yale was surrounded by a fire and the old man jumped in front of the beasts, letting out fire from every single punch. In just one blow the man killed beast each, soon after all six beasts were dead. Yale looked at the man slack-jawed, 'What is this sorcery ?'

  • I like your story so far. I think you should find a proof reader/editor though.
  • edited September 2015
    Yeah, I am trying to learn english while writing, so a proof reader would be a bad idea for me. Just bare with my mistakes for some time later on ill fix it xP. Ty for reading ) (I need better english for uni xD) (If any of you guys/girls notice any mistakes can you tell me xp ill try researching it. )))

    If you want to know what music I am listening while writing or reading here it is xP

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    Book one, Chapter 2

    'I don't understand how can fire come out from his fists, and why is the fire around me keep burning, it doesn't make sense' Yale was breaking his brain over all of this, it seemed as if it was magic, but magic is only silly tales that people liked to talk about.

    Even though Yale is young he has mentality which is much superior of kids his age.

    "Kid stop daydreaming, lets go to the town and find a place to talk." The man said while dragging Yale to the town.

    "Mister can I ask your name?" Yale calmly asking, as he was astonished by this man.

    "My name is Gerrard, how about you kid?"

    "I am Yale, Gerrard why don't you help others?" This is most important question Yale had at this moment. He didn't understand why he would help him and not others.

    Gerrard looked at Yale deeply and said,"Because only one percent of people who come here is your age, and human kids like you is practically non existent. Yale do you know that everyone who comes have experienced hell. For everyone hell is different, in the end those who cannot take it any more and kill them selves at the edge of insanity, comes here. Usually people who die peacefully has to go through hell which is their worst fears where you must fight to survive, if you manage to die from old age and not from your hand or others you can come here. This place is world of gods, or so the mysterious voice said when we all came here. Okay that's enough I got to serious we will talk later." Gerrard took Yale on his shoulder and started running towards the town.

    The closer they got to the town the more flabbergasted, Yale became he had only one word to say about it, "Huge!" When they finally got next to the town, Yale straight forwardly asked, "how big is this town ?" 

    "Hehe, Yale this town is about ten thousand kilometres to all sides from the middle of the gates, oh, um from that huge column." Gerrard pointed to the column that went so high in the air you couldn't see the end of it. Yale couldn't help but be astonished, he also couldn't understand how he was able to see the column if it was so far away.

    Gerrard started laughing when he looked at Yale, "Kid that column is five thousand kilometres in diameter it self, that's why you can see it even from here, also because somehow it is made that you could see it even from the edge of this place. Trust me this place is bigger then our earth by at least fifty times. Legends say that if you manage to get to the other side of the tower there will be another floor, but no one knows for sure because who ever enters it never comes back." When Yale heard this he didn't know whether to laugh or to cry, 'how can it be so big?' he thought.

    "Okay lets go to pub and ill explain how everything works here, but remember I am here for only sixty years, I don't know everything my self."

    'Sixty years ? you look like in middle thirties or so...' Yale thought and couldn't help but be surprised. 

    After about five minutes walking through the town or more so a city, because technology wasn't much better or worse then on earth. They were next to the pub, when they entered it there were many people drinking, and most of them were quite sad as if despaired. "Let's go sit there at the corner Ill get something to eat for you and my self." Gerrard said with smile on his face, seems like he is missing to talk to someone. 

    In couple of minutes Yale was already eating some weird food non stop. 'Oh god this is delicious what is this... It looks like chicken, but tastes completely different, haven't ate anything like this before...' Gerrard started laughing as he did the same when he first tasted guardians chicken.

    After they ate everything and drank some water, Gerrard started talking about everything, "Okay kid this might freak you out, but everyone here is immortal which means you can't die from old age can only die from injuries and such. You stop ageing from twenty five years old, as it is point where your body should have completely developed. Also immortality comes with costs, If you want to have children here it is only about 0,5% chance of that happening, what I mean It is extremely low chance to have children. For this reason population neither goes down nor up. 

    When we enter this place we all end up on the grasslands outside of the city, every second countless people appear there from various planes, but also almost all of them perish, usually only the smart ones and lucky ones manage to get to the city. Legends say that when you die here depending from your strength you become one of the beasts, and you must devour countless people to be reborn and go the cycle again until you manage to get here."
  • Didn't rush it trust me, ill be writing a bit differently from others :) but thanks.
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      Book one, Chapter 2.5

    "I learned here quite a lot about the cycle of life. If you go insane on your primary plane, or die peacefully you go to hell. In hell your sanity returns, you have to repeat cycle of hell until you die from your destined age. If you go insane in hell and then die, you'll be reborn in hell again and your sanity will return. It's quite fascinating, this game made by god, people like to call it tree of life."

                                                                              Born In The First Plane
     Died, because underwent hell, and almost gone Insane/   Gone insane, and died/Died peacefully/got killed/                                                                                                           |                                                                 killed them selves.
                                                    |                                                                               |
                                  Goes to to the world of Gods.                                          Reborn in hell
                                                    |                                                                               |
     (By the Legend) Dies, reborn as one of the beast,                                                |
    but gets restricted by instincts (Actions restricted greatly,                                      |
    when sees another creature can't control them selves.)                                         |
                                                    |                                                                               |
     If devoured countless people, reborn as one of the creatures                               |
     in countless planes/ if dies as a beast, reborn as a beast again                            |
     in non ending cycle until manages to devour countless people.                            |        
                                                    |                                                                               |
    When devours enough people, reborn in the first plane,                                        |
    past memories introduced as dreams, until managed to get the world of gods.     |
    There will regain their memories.(Reason for this is because one would go          |
    insane for sure from all the shit)                                                                             |
                                                    |                                                                               |
                                                    |    Dies from old age without going insane /Dies, because of all other reasons.
                                                    |                                                                               |
                                        The world of gods                                                 The world of gods
                                                    \                                                                              /
                                                      \                                                                          /
                                                                                 Here we go again. 

    "That's the tree of life, Kid it's fascinating isn't it" Gerrard drawn it on a piece of paper, "Holy molly, it's really amazing! it also seems as if the world of gods isn't the end, but no one have ever went through the beast stage of life, so no one knows. Also there is possibility, that those who did go through, doesn't want to tell no one." Yale said and went into deep thinking.

    "Now about the mysterious voice which you heard when you appeared in the white hall, people say it's the voice of creator him self! and that the statue was him, but you know the most mysterious thing about it all? Is that no one can remember how exactly the statue looked!", Gerrard said in excitement, "What ? can't remember how it looks?" Yale went into deep thinking again, 'It can't be I really can't remember how it looks! the only thing I can is remember that it was extremely big statue, I can't remember the shape or colour...' 
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                                                                                                      Book one, chapter 3

    "Exactly, I can't remember how the statue looked either, there is always big commotion going on about this." Gerrard said and went to get some more water.

    'It's so strange... its as if the creator doesn't want people to know how he looks like.' Yale said to him self, 'I still need to know what is our purpose here, and how the hell that fire thing works.' 

    "Here is some more water." Gerrard said when he came back, "Do you have any questions?" he said calmly.

    "What is our purpose here ?" Yale of course asked the obvious. 

    "Good question," Gerrard smiled and then continued, "As you know there is that gigantic column in the middle of this place, and there is thousands of gates around it, besides each door it's written, 'Enter if you are confident that you have the power to defeat the guardian' we are not sure who the guardian is and what he is guarding. Although we know that there is places all over this world, where you can acquire information about the guardian, it is basically tests, and only strong ones can pass it. People say that if you are two times stronger then the guardians of test places, you are strong enough to take onto the guardian of the column." Gerrard said with excitement,"Strength? what kind of strength are we talking about?" Yale asked questioningly, "Oh I am sorry I forgot to mention that in here people can control an element of choice. What I mean by this is that here magic actually exists and it's not tales of no short." Gerrard lifted his fingers and on top of his finger little flame appeared, Gerrard continued, "There are seven elements in total. Wind, fire, water, earth, lightning, light and darkness, everyone can control element of their choice, but only one. When you reach certain level of power in your element your body evolves to adapt with the element better at which point your power doubles, but its not as easy it looks there is ten whole levels until you reach that. Every level is separated in to lower, middle and higher rank, those guards of the tests that I mentioned is said to be on tenth level and can advance any time now. that's all you need to know about it for now. Also I am currently only on the fourth level middle rank, I am not that talented in it." Yale didn't know whether to laugh or to cry, he have never heard anything so crazily awesome.

    "Kid as much as we all know,its our sole purpose and it is to go and beat that guardian, but the thing is that only one person at a time can enter the gate. No one know's what's at the other side of the gates, besides that there is a guardian of some sort." 

    "So kid what are you going to do about it?" Gerrard asked calmly.

    "I want to know what is he guarding, and there is only way to know that." Yale said while smiling.

    "hahaha! Good kid! we should first of all register you for a school. Learning things is always good.", "No need I already finished school." Yale said with laugh, "What you mean you finished school, how old are you ? you look like nine years old." Gerrard said confused, "I am twelve god damn it, why is everyone always call me seven year old or something... Also I did finish University, it is one of the reasons why I almost gone insane." Gerrard starred at Yale flabbergasted, to finish university so young..."Kid you are pretty amazing, if it as you say then lets travel together I want to see what that guardian is guarding too. I'v been away in the wilds for ten years, I am absolutely broke, we should get some money and then head out for training." Gerrard said with a smile on his face, he was happy to get a smart companion, he was travelling alone for extremely long time, even if one is immortal time doesn't flow any faster that's for sure. Yale got excited and said, "What kind of awesome job are we going to do ?" Yale got all pumped up thinking there must be some awesome jobs he could get a lot of money.

    "McDonalds of course best job ever, free breakfast, free lunch and get paid, what better job could there be ?" Gerrard laughed, while Yale almost fell from his chair, but then he started laughing and said, " Hahaha, you are joking I almost took it seriously...", "Eh, but I am not joking.." Gerrard looked at Yale questioningly, while Yale slapped his head not knowing what to say, he didn't whether to laugh or to cry.

    "Isn't there any better jobs ?" Yale asked out of despair, because working at McDonalds is a big waste of time...
    "Well now that I think of it I could also work as an instructor for a rich kid next to the column, although the chance is quite low there is still possibility, we can work at McDonalds there anyway. Lets go sell some of the beasts fur and such should be enough to rent a house for a week there after we will get a pay, we also need air plane tickets, it's a long fly."

    When Yale and Gerrard were walking through the street's Yale was fascinated, by all the different creatures, there were even some who looked like warewulfs, chimpanzee like with huge ears and six arms, cobra like, but arms and legs, all kinds of creatures, but strangely enough there were no discrimination. 'I guess people here learned not to discriminate' Yale said to him self, because back in his old world, people would always discriminate for their, colour only, while here everyone looks completely different...Cars and buildings were designed to be good for different creatures. 'Really interesting' 

    Soon Yale and Gerrard were already in the marketplace where they could sell the fur, fangs and other useful things, 'I wonder how he managed to get a beast pelt into that small bag of his and it doesn't even look full..' Yale thought while standing next to Gerrard.

    "Hello sir are you selling beast materials ?" Green slimy and hairy humanoid asked behind the stove.

    "Ah yes I would like to sell fife hundred thirty three pelts, twelve thousand fangs, and six hundred fifty level one elemental crystals." 

    "What the fuck? have you gone nuts ?" Yale shouted couldn't help, but thing he teamed up with some crazy guy. 'Where the fuck could he have so many things, he definitely gone nuts...'

    Everyone looked at Yale not understanding what they missed. Gerrard looked at Yale confused, but after a second he understood, "Yale don't worry come look at this." Gerrard took out a round sphere necklace, it was a round sphere in a round cage just enough to hold the sphere, the sphere was completely black, didn't reflect light at all, very mysterious. "Yale this is cosmic space, there is hundred cubic meters of space in there you can store whatever you want. So don't worry I am not crazy, all the pelts and everything are in here."  

    "Cosmic space?" Yale couldn't process such thing.
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    Oh They're in a somewhat modern time period with technology, except they have magic, pretty cool. I also liked the fact that people can only choose 1 element. Give us a spoiler about his element...is it lightning? Hehe
  • edited September 2015
                                                                                    Book one, chapter 4

     (Tbh my writing speed is extremely slow because I was depressed these days, I should be able to write at least three chapters of 2k words every day later on.(depressed because my parents divorced.)) 
    Ty for everyone reading and element we will see next chapter still writing xD

    "I don't know how it works, but it was discovered by some scientists not long ago(uhm few billion years ago), I think it works something like mini black holes, not to sure about that. People say few billion years ago is not that long ago..Everyone here focus on improving theit individual power rather then science, so science is very declined" Gerrard said calming down Yale, because for Yale it was something absolutely crazy.

    Yale went into deep thinking again, "take a look" Gerrard said, then in his arm suddenly appeared a green beast pelt, "now look" Suddenly the beast pelt disappeared. This made Yale convinced that what Gerrard said was true, "Wow this thing is so useful, I must also figure out how it works some day." 

    "Hey how much this thing costs ?" Yale asked curious as he wants to get one of those two.

    "Well it costs about hundred days in McDonalds which is eight hundred magical power crystals. Not that much considering everyone is immortal. Also because here McDonalds is somewhat of a disgraceful job, so they pay much more then normal jobs, as no one wants work there, but everyone buys their food...", 'eight hundred magical power crystals ? Is that even a currency ?' 

    "Magical power crystals ? Its the currency here ?" Yale asked curious.

    "Yes magical power crystals it is. they are about the size of grain but contain a lot of magical power which can be extracted by person with power of over tenth level, and used as their own. Not really useful for us so they made it a currency, there is almost no one over tenth level, because all of them go's and try's to defeat that guardian. I think currently there is only one person  that level he over looks this town, he's a bit nuts though, people say he is here for already few billion years and haven't improved since. Any way let's sell these it should be worth quite few MPC(Magical Power Crystals)"

    After that, Gerrard bought some clothes for him self and Yale, and went out to buy tickets.

    "Can I have two tickets to first zone ?" Gerrard asked, at the window where flight tickets were being sold, meanwhile Yale was sitting on Gerrards shoulders.

    "One ticket for adult and one ticket for your baby sir ?" Attendant asked looking at Gerrard then at Yale. Yale couldn't help but all go red form anger, 'Ill show them all when I surpass tenth level I bet Ill become as big as mountain then no one can talk with me like that' he pouted.

    "I am no baby, I am twelve!" Yale pouted like a child. Attendant started laughing thinking that he is a cute kid, Gerrard laughed as well.

    "No give us two adult tickets please, as soon as possible." After they bought the tickets, they had to wait for two hours for the flight, so they decided to take a tour around the air port.

    "Wow the air port is so big! hey look at those planes they are so big! at least two times bigger then the biggest planes in old world. Well I guess it makes a lot of sense, because most of the creatures who gets here ironically almost all bigger then humans, and I could be called a midget even among the humans.." Yale said not knowing whether to laugh or to cry. 

    "Don't worry, don't worry being short can be a huge advantage if you focus on speed. I'd consider you choosing lighting, wind or light element they are advantageous in speed."  Gerrard said while biting on apple-like fruit.

    "Pfft I don't want to be small, maybe if I choose earth I will start growing big!" Yale said with hope in his eyes.

    "HAHA! You wish kid it doesn't work like that, element adapts to your body, not body adapts to element, only when you surpass tenth level your body adapts to the element, and it's not even that much of a change. Biggest change is on the inside it's on the magical channels in your body, which takes form of your chosen element everyone's magical channels takes different form even among the same elements, which makes your body adapt to the element. You gain magical power through your magical channels, which then goes into your sphere of magical power, from where when you control certain element it takes the magical power to control the element. You would think it means that you can control any element, but that's the tricky part, there is also elemental power, which goes through your magical channels as well, but instead it flows around the sphere of magical power as mist. This elemental power can only be gotten when you using it all out by controlling the element, and replenishes it self over time or by meditation by this cycle you get more and more elemental power. When you first time flow the elemental power into your body your magical sphere will take the colour of the element, and from now on then you won't be able to use any other element besides it. However magical power can be replenished by magical power crystals, but gained (as in improving the amount you can have) by meditation only. Also you might remember the elemental power crystals which I sold, they improve the control of your element." 
    Gerrard said going all crazy over it.

    "Ah! I see now it's not that really complicated, as I see it you can meditate and control element at the same time." Yale said calmly.

    "Kid you must be crazy, I haven't seen no one who could pull that off,  you need immense concentration only to lead magical power through your channels, but to control the element at the same time also is just crazy. Although in our world I'v seen monk who were able to meditate while doing their daily things, but they were at the end of death, not only that but they were geniuses among geniuses among monsters, one in a trillion. Also leading magical power through channels while controlling element is much harder then eating while mediating or washing dishes." Gerrard said with confidence that no one can ever pull that off, and if they could it would be extremely monstrous, you could basically gain magical power and elemental power while depleting it, never ending pool. 

    "What really so hard ? but I could wash dishes and eat while meditating, I bet after few decades of practise I could pull it of." Yale said with confidence, and smiled.

    Gerrard looked at Yale and said, "You really are a small monster." Yale laughed and didn't say anything.

    Gerrard saw somewhat of a sadness in Yale's eyes.

    "Ok lets go our flight should be in couple of minutes we might be late." Gerrard said and took Yale on his shoulders.

    Since crime rates is practically non existent no one needed any kind of documents for anything and everything was done with eye, picture, finger print recognition system. Yale and Gerrard went through just by showing the tickets which had their pictures on it. 

    Unexpectedly the plane had a mini room for every passenger, and by just one click one can connect two rooms. It was extremely comfortable and there was no problems, after a twenty six hour flight they managed to get to the first zone of the city. During that time Gerrard explained Yale that there is hundred fifty zones in total, and that first zone is usually zone of the rich people, mostly people who chose to not improve in power, but instead a carefree life of business. Or that they have no talent in cultivation, so they choose to have their children build up their power.

    "Wow this place really looks like from the future! there is even cars who drive by them selves! how lazy can you get.." Yale said while laughing, he was full of excitement.

    "Yale today we will begin our journey together! If we are lucky I will get to tutor one of the rich people children, and so you could practise together with them, if not we will have to work at McDonalds for few decades and then travel out, and only get back when we strong enough to beat that guardian!"

  • edited September 2015
                                                                                                                      Book one, chapter 5

    After one week...

    "We are fucked!..." Gerrard shouted while running with Yale on his shoulders.

    "Shut up and run, it's your fault for trying to hook up with the owners daughter!" Yale shouted back.

    "How could have I known she was a daughter of McDonald's owner!" He didn't know what was his luck, not only they didn't get to tutor a kid, but he actually tried to hook up with someone...and it was McDonald's owner's daughter...

    "Curse our luck..!" Yale said he didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.

    "Stop you mother fucker's ill show you!" one of the guys who was chasing them shouted, it was quite funny situation.

    "Whew we escaped barely, good thing I was faster then him.." Gerrard said while laughing bitterly, just then he got message saying,"Mister Gerrard we have found a tutoring job for you, if you accept message us."

    "Kid Look we got a job! we got a job! it's near our place too!" 

    "Good thing we made enough to live for another week" Yale said laughing.

    Yale and Gerrard managed to rent a big flat in one of the sky scrapers, which had multiple training floors very good place to live in. 

    Six after noon. 

    "Gerrard I managed to get magical power flowing through my body!" Yale shouted getting into training room.

    "Really ?! wow you are such a monster kid, it took me half a year and only one week for you...But it's good it means we can start training, now then come sit here" Gerrard pointed in front of him on a smooth carpet. 

    "Now then kid what element are you going to choose ?"

    After long week of thinking Yale clearly decided.

    "I'll choose lightning, because it is mostly compatible with my body, I decided to not go against my nature. Ill rather fight with it. Also I'll be training to be close range warrior, that's what I like." 

    "You decided good my friend, with your amazingly compatible body with lightning and your incredibly nourished intelligence you will soon over come me, I need to start training diligently too." Gerrard said while patting Yale.

    "Now then close your eyes and feel the elements and not magical power. Feel them!" Gerrard took out elemental crystal and smashed it in between his palms, and suddenly elements started rushing much faster to the crystal bits, Gerrard then threw it on Yale.

    "I can feel, I can see it! so many!" Yale shouted, feeling happy seeing elements for the first time. 

    "Yale lead the path to the sparkling element its lightning element don't confuse it with water!" Gerrard said feeling happy for Yale.

    'Lead them, lead them, sparkling, Yes! I can see it, come here my friends lightning elements! ah they are coming! so many it feels so good when they bouncing about my magical channels! "Mmmm" what is this nostalgic feeling! It's so godly ! Ah it touched my magical Sphere!"

    "AAAhhh! Mmmm!" 'It feels so good and refreshing! it's turning into a mist! my magical sphere is starting to sparkle!"

    "Ah!?!?!? It feels so amazing when I absorb lightning element, It feels like I am being roughly kissed all over!" Yale shouted in excitement.

    Gerrard started laughing, "Kid it seems you love your element and treat it as a friend, so elements do the same. Don't forget that you will be with your chosen element forever you must fall in love with your element and nurture it, it's your life, it's your nature, it's you!!!" He shouted.

    "Yes my element I feel so strong and energetic!" Yale said absorbing the light element.

    After ten minutes of cultivation ,"Gerrard it seems I can't absorb any more, I can feel that I am already full."Yale opened his eyes and a sparkle lighted in his eyes momentarily and then dissipated. 

    "Good, now then this is the hardest part, touch my palm with your finger and try imagining electricity particles forming on the tip of your finger. Imagine them appearing then starting going crazy, all ll over the tip of your finger." 

    'Okay lets do this!' Yale concentrated and suddenly extremely small sparks started appearing, and diminishing instantly on top of Yale's finger, but not touching it. He then touched Gerrard's palm and Gerard felt how very small current was flowing barely noticeable.

    "Ahaha I knew you could do it from the first time! very good! we need to drink for this moment!" Gerrard shouted while laughing, Yale was in very good mood to, he never drank too so this will be good opportunity.


    After first drink, "I don't think ill drink more..." Yale said.

    "What you only drank like 50ml of vodka you already drunk...No good, no good we need to get that body of yours training, hehehe." Gerrard said gulping whole bottle, barely standing.

    In the morning.

    "What happened yesterday after we started drinking I don't remember anything after." Gerrard said with only underpants standing in the kitchen, while Yale was making sandwiches. 

    "I don't remember anything either, I just woke up as well, hope we didn't do nothing stupid" Yale said laughing, He then took the sandwhiches to the living room.

    "Mmmm...Good morning" two naked girls were laying there naked on the sofa.

    "G.g.g.g.g.good m.m.m.m.morning" Yale smiled then turned around and went back to the kitchen.

    "What's up with him ? we had so much fun yesterday..." one of the naked girls said she had petite figure , blue eyes, blond long hair, a human another one was humanoid monkey had latina body type, with brown eyes, both were quite stunning.

    "Hey djuuud we have two naked chicks on our sofa" Yale said quietly to Gerrard who was drinking water, but then he quickly drank it and looked at Yale, "Two? naked ? how? when?" Gerrard said in shock, he doesn't remember nothing that happened yesterday.

    "Hey, boys what are you talking about?" Naked human girl came seductively looking at Yale and Gerrard both of them gulped down some saliva and then answered, "Well we are, um just preparing breakfast you know..." both Gerrard and Yale said and quickly started making sandwiches.

    "Okay we are going to take a shower, wanna come with us ?" Yale and Gerrard swallowed some saliva again, "No we are good." They said with smile on faces, crying inside.

    "What do we do ? did we do it with them ?" Yale whispered to Gerrard nervous not knowing what to do.

    "I don't know, but I hope they won't ask for money if we did it with them." Gerrard said knowing that they are broke. Both of them crying in thw kitchen hopping they won't ask for money. After they done the sandwiches they went to living room and put everything on the table sat down waiting for the girls.

    "Wow yesterday was so wild, we had so much fun!"

    "I know right they were both so good at it too."

    Yale and Gerrard heard them talking, both were drenched in cold sweat. "What are we going to do ? should we run?" Gerrard said to Yale sweat dripping from his forehead, "I.I. I don't think that would be idea, I think we should wait, if after all we did it then we'll run" Yale said nervous.

    "O, look so many sandwiches, and I am hungry lets dig in." Both girls came out of bathroom only covered with towel, they jumped on the sofa and started digging in.

    Yale and Gerrard was starring at them not knowing what to do.

    "Whashp do*chew**chew**gulp* Why don't you eat ?" humanoid girl asked looking at them while eating a sandwhich, smiling.

    "Ah yeah okay." both Yale and Gerrard started slowly eating, very slowly, not looking at girls at all. 

    "Yesterday was fun isn't it who won by the way I can't remember ?" Human girl asked.

    "Won?" Both Yale and Gerrard looked at each other, then at girls, "Uhm, sorry actually we don't remember from yesterday.... anything..." 

    "ahahah you don't remember! seriously?" Human girls said asked while laughing. 

    "Uh... no..sorry...hehe" They answered.

    Girls both looked at each other with mocking smiles, "Well actually yesterday we asked you if we could stay at your place for a while because we are broke...and then you accepted and so we had a drinking competition and then..." girls looked at each other almost laughing.

    "A.a.and then?" Yale and Gerrard asked, with sweaty for heads.

    "Then we all went to sleep." The girls answered and started laughing, both Yale and Gerrard breathed out heavily relaxed. 

    "How long are you going to stay with us ?" Gerrard asked.

    "Untill we are able to get enough money move out and find a job obviously"Humanoid girl said and leaned forward to take a sandwich, with good full view of emeralds. 

    Yale and Gerrard both leaned forward for a moment, then asked, "Uhm can I ask your names?" Yale asked, chewing sandwich.

    "I am Karis" Human girl said, "I am Kidoki, but friends like to call me kido" Humanoid girl said while smiling.

    "We know your names don''t worry." Karis said.

    "Oh shit! what's the time?!?" Gerrard shouted.

    "It's ten am already and tutoring starts ten thirty!" Yale shouted to running and quickly putting on clothes and same as Gerrard.

    "We'll be back in five hours don't do nothing." Gerrard said sprinting out through the doors.   
  • edited September 2015
    I hereby announce that I planned as far as 12k (1-2k words each chapter) chapters in front I am also changing the name ^^ and if you want to take part in the story, I invite you all with suggestions on what kind of people you want me to introduce and what kind of bad guys, enemies etc. what kind of op powers the bad guys have, weapons, maybe ill even do some fan art and will start drawing some pictures, as I am not that bad, so let me know if you want me to do that. Hopefully ill improve my english to xddddd Btw this novel is in no way religious I am atheist my self. What I mean by that, is that in nothing like jesus, karma, etc thingy 
  • Sorry to hear about your parents. Keep your head up.
  • edited September 2015
    Ty iEatpotatoes :) writing next chapter atm xd 
  •                                                                             Book one, chapter 6

    Yale and Gerrard headed out to the streets, with a floods of people, they were barely moving, "Hey what do we do ? there is so many people how are we going to make it ?" Yale asked Gerrard, he was nervous if they won't make it, they won't be able to work and probably be fired without even starting to work.

    "Don't worry I know what we have to do." Gerrard took Yale, and then started jumping in between people. 'Wew Gerrard is awesome after all' Yale thought, feeling weightless. 

    After ten minutes of intensive jumping, "Whew we made it somehow." Gerrard said standing with Yale next to a huge mansion, "I guess we did, and I don't think we are late." 

    "*Beep*beep*beep*H.Hello who is it?", "Hello this is Gerrard, I came for tutoring.", "Ah yes, come in." Gate like huge double brown doors opened, with butler standing at the side, "Hello, sir Gerrard, I am Jenkins butler of sir Keddinkton." Jenkins was, a brown/green humanoid covered in wooden like skin, and instead of his hair it was leafs, dressed in black butler costume, "Hello Jenkins I am Gerrard and this is my friend Yale, we will be tutoring together.", "Hello" Yale said, bowing. "I understand please come with me our little miss just got ready for training.", 'Little miss?' Yale and Gerrard looked at each other thinking, "Can I ask little miss's name?" Gerrard said, "Ah yes Ill introduce you with her when we get there." Yale and Gerrard nodded and kept going.

    'Such a huge house!' Yale said to him self amazed, 'Everything looks so expensive too, paintings, vases, exotic vegetation, the architecture...' Yale couldn't help, but think how much everything here costs. 

    "We are here sir Gerrard." Jenkins opened the door, to a huge hall full of gymnastic equipment and such there was a small girl stretching, unexpectedly she had pinkish skin with leafs mostly covering her whole skin, her hair was cute green vines, with cute leafs growing on them. She is quite petite, but not to much.

    "Miss Katie, your tutor has come." Jenkins said. When Yale and Gerrard saw her, they were both stunned to the bone. 

    Katie came next to them and said, "Hello, my name is Katie nice to meet you", "Nice to meet you Katie I am Gerrard your tutor." Gerrard said.

    "N.n.n.nice to meet you t.too Katie, m.m.my name is Y.yale" Yale barely said while blushing, breathing heavily,'This rascal is so awkward haha' Gerrard though then said, "Miss Katie he will be learning together with you, also tutoring. He is smarter then he looks, so don't look down on him." Gerrard said praising Yale.

    'Ah, she is so pretty...It's first time I have seen such a pretty girl...' Yale thought, his heart beating fast. 

    "Okay." Katie said laughing lightly. 

    "Good then Mister Gerrard ill leave you to get to know each other tutoring starts in ten minutes" Jenkins said and headed out. 

    "Hey how old are you?" Katie asked Yale, curious as he looked very young.

    "ah.um...I am twelve" Yale said, as he almost forgot his age, "What, really you are twelve ? you look like seven...", "ah I am not seven ! How old are you by the way ?" Yale asked, embarrassed and angry, 'I am not seven!!! Oh my god!' he shouted inside, "Okay, okay it's just that you are so short..I am eleven, and I am whole head higher then you..." Katie said with big smile on her face.

    "Oh you are eleven ? wow you did good job starting to channel magical power at your age. Was it hard?" Gerrard asked Katie, feeling that this girl is quite smart managing to channel magical power at her age, because usually children born here only starts channelling magical power at fifteen or so, "Yes, it was extremely hard! I barely managed to do it a day before yesterday, it took me very long to accomplish! I tried every day for five hours for many years!" She said feeling proud with her achievement, "You must be diligent student." Gerrard said and patted her head,' oh wow these vines are so magical! its actually soft like real hair but looks like a plant!' Katie smiled, "Hey, um...can I touch your hair?" Yale asked embarrassingly, "Sure!" Katie said and started laughing lightly. When Yale touched her hair he felt a bliss a goose bump, "Wow your hair are so amazing and pretty!" Yale said, looking at Katie. "Thanks" Katie said and blushed, it's actually her first time a boy her age called her that, it's her first time meeting a boy her age besides cousin too. When Yale saw her reaction he immediately took his hand and started laughing awkwardly.

    "Okay enough chitchat, lets start training!" Gerrard said, removing the awkwardness between Yale and Katie, 'This will be fun heheh' Gerrard laughing.  

    "Yes!" Both Yale and Katie said.

    "Katie have you already chosen on the element, fused with it ?" Gerrard asked Katie. 

    "No not yet, but I want to choose earth or water." Katie said, she thought about it for many years but couldn't decide between those two as her mother was water and her father earth, so she became to like those two elements.

    "Okay then ill tell you more about these two elements and you decide which one you going to choose. First of all Is earth, earth element advantages in close combat is strength amplification which it gives and huge defence, disadvantage in close combat is that it reduces your speed by big margin. In distanced combat it has advantage in big scale battle, because it's attacks are mostly all are massive, It has huge power, but for this reason it is also slow to do, one more advantage is group defence which is extremely good too actually the best defensive abilities from all other elements." 
  • Good, but I feel your chapters are too look short Q_Q
  • edited September 2015
    xD I am not sure yet what you think should I make 3-2 chapters a day(1-2k words) or 1 chapter(3k~6k words) ? which I would post about 22pm +1gmt every day. 
  • edited September 2015
                                                                                                          Book one, chapter 7

    "One of the major abilities from earth is gravity control which can increase the gravity, one of the best support abilities, it is quite strong, and very good for training too. Second major ability is crushing the ground which would make enemy unable to stand with each level one can be introduced with new abilities, but people mostly likes to adapt to their element by creating their own abilities which is not that hard. As you know every element have cons and pros, but that is not exactly true, in my opinion it's people who shape their element and not the element who shape them, we control the element and not element that control us. Although we control the element we cannot act as if the element is our slave, but more of a friend, because element is something that will be with you for eternity until you die." Gerrard said then looked at Yale and Katie listening curiously, he laughed and continued.

    "Now then lets talk about water element, people say that water element is support element, because it has a lot of beautification, support, healing abilities, ah but how wrong they are. Not only can water be deadly, but if you make into ice it will be one of the top in killing potential, water defence can be said to be the lowest from all, but attacks and speed one of the top. Although they can't reach high movement speed, but in close range combat water is absolutely unpredictable, which makes it high on ranking of speed, and attack. With water one can make extremely terrifying things, such as even controlling the blood, of course controlling water is no where close to being achieved at our scaling of ten levels, but I believe there is more to it that then it looks. Which means if one could grasp the control of blood it would be one of the most terrifying, close combat abilities if achieved. Now for long range water element is mostly effective on single targets, unless there is water source nearby which then makes it most terrifying mass attacking element of all. Water can be said to have the most terrifying out of piercing attacks. Which is compressing the water to up most limit and then shooting it to the enemy and at the end making it into ice. It can even pierce metal, but of course this is high level attack which can only be learned after surpassing level ten, but before that one can use ice which has high piercing abilities too. Of course there is many techniques, and such to be learned for every element which makes them extremely balanced and neither can win against each other. When people fighting against each other with different elements it depends on the user who will win and not on the element." Gerrard said in excitement gasping air. 

    "Wow I think you only made it harder for me to decide which element to take..." Katie said and started laughing, Yale and Gerrard started laughing too. 

    "Then how about we make a test on which element you are most compatible with depending on your body ? Yale you want to do it too? although I can already see by your body type that you are most compatible with lightning, but just to see for fun ?" Gerrard asked, he was curious as well, since the time Yale first fused with lightning element how compatible he was, because he showed an extraordinary sensation to it.  

    "O that sounds like fun we want to do it!" Both Yale and Katie said excited too see which elements it is.

    "Okay both of you come here." Gerrard pointed to the table, he went next to it and took out a big transparent glass for water, he then took out mysterious water which looked extremely strange, "This is elemental water, looking at it from different angles gives you different colours, but if you put a drop of your blood it will show which element you are most compatible with and how compatible are you. Okay Katie you go first, give me your hand." Gerrard said holding a small needle. 

    Katie gave Gerrard her finger and closed her eyes, not wanting to see needle piercing her skin. 

    "*pap*" Elemental water moved when the drop of blood hit it and suddenly it started shining deep green which then then started started shining more and more then turned into neon green. 

    "WOW! Katie look at that, that's amazing it's actually bright green its as bright green as it gets, kid your body is as compatible with earth as it gets..." Gerrard said amazed, Yale was looking at it as well even his eyes started hurting from the brightness. 

    "Wow really, okay then ill definitely choose earth, lets see Yales one now!" Katie said excited wanting to see Yale's now. 

    After few minutes elemental water turned back to normal, "Ok Yale your turn give me your hand" Gerrard said, his hands were actually shaking to see this monster of a kid compatibility.

    Yale gave Gerrard his hand looking at the needle *pap* a drop of blood rolled down from Yale's finger and dropped into the elemental water.

    The water started shining bright white and then *bam* inside a glass an actual spark of lightning appeared and a mini sonic shock wave appeared inside the glass and it actually shattered the glass. For someone like Yale he knew exactly what happened there, but also doesn't know how, an actual electrostatic discharge happened in between lightning elements which made a spark which made a mini sonic shock wave as the spark moved around the glass faster then the speed of sound actually many times faster. The spark evaporated the whole elemental water and mini sonic shock wave shattered the glass. Fortunately no one got hurt, "Holy shit dude, who knew that lightning element would get so excited" Gerrard said not expecting such outcome, this is beyond what have ever been recorded as far as bodily potential goes. 

    "Wow you are amazing did you see that! for lightning elements to actually go so crazy!" Katie said excited, not actually knowing what happened.

    'Wow is that because of me ?' Yale thought not believing he has such potential with lightning, although it's a good thing he is still stunned, but he didn't get over confident, because you can have big potential, but if you don't work hard your potential won't actually ever show up. 

    "What now?" Yale asked not knowing what to do, "Lets clean up and lets see how Katie fuses with the earth element." Gerrard said and went to clean up the shattered glass pieces, fortunately vision of cultivators is many times better then normal people and it gets better the stronger one is.
    "Ok Katie you can start now." Yale and Gerrard was sitting in front of Katie who just started meditating getting ready to fuse with earth element, "Relax and guide the earth elements through your magical channels until it becomes a mist and your magical sphere becomes green." Gerrard and Yale was intensively looking at Katie, suddenly Katie said, "Stop starring at me like that" Yale and Gerrard didn't know whether to laugh or to cry, seeing girl almost orgasming from earth elements is one in a millennium chance, they started laughing awkwardly, looking at the ground. 

    After about twenty intense minutes Kate opened her eyes and said, "Yay I finished,", "Congratulations" Yale and Gerrard said, happy for Katie.  
  • Rimge said:

    xD I am not sure yet what you think should I make 3-2 chapters a day(1-2k words) or 1 chapter(3k~6k words) ? which I would post about 22pm +1gmt every day. 

    whichever you feel comfortable with bro.
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