DKK: Defying the King of Kings

edited July 2015 in Original Stories

Message from the noob author:

Notice this story senpais haha. This is my very first story  (I just finished writing the draft of the third chapter cause it was only a while ago that an idea suddenly hit the back of my head) and so I was conflicted whether to post this in the website that gathers breathtaking stories or to wait until the time when writing stories feels as easy as breathing air. Anyway, thank you for viewing this discussion (Really, thank you) even if you didn’t read any. *bows* Oh! By the way, please comment your thoughts and please say if you like the plot of the story or not cause if even one person like this, I’ll continue it despite having haters (I HOPE NOT. PLEASE GO EASY ON ME.) I’m saying sorry in advance if there are a lot of grammatical errors because English is not my first language.

 Summary: (This is not really a summary for me haha)

Only if one is strong enough that one could voluntarily throw away the immortal gifts one had received when one was born and truly find the thrill of life by experiencing hardships and by walking on the path to be a true Immortal.

The youth dropped to his knees in a flash and slammed his head to the floor producing a loud thud. Even though the wound from the impact instantly healed as soon as it appeared, contrasting his fair skin, there were still small traces of wet blood that showed how strong
the impact was.

“Father… I know you understand me. Immortals who are born Immortals are said to be the chosen ones because they hold in their hands ethereal gifts bestowed upon them by the Heavens but I and you, father, disagree! They lead an empty life with the power they didn’t get themselves and the riches they know they don’t deserve. They became an immortal without experiencing the happiness mortals feel when they become one. I want to experience a life where I was weaker yesterday. I prefer to have battles against stronger opponents where my life is always at stake rather than idly sitting on a throne. I want to become stronger on my own and to feel fulfilled of the accomplishments I got from hardships. Father, I choose to be a mortal and take the road of becoming a true Immortal!” pleaded the youth as he raised his head up while his pair of eyes stared at his father’s.

Bang! He once again slammed his head to the floor. “Please… accommodate your selfish son’s only wish.” begged the youth in a resolute manner.

 

Book 1: Immortal’s dwelling (still not finished)

Chapter 1: The Governor of All

Chapter 2: Erecting Territories (draft)

Chapter 3: Foolish Questions (draft)

Chapter 4: Showing his Conviction (draft)

Chapter 5: A Brave Soul (draft)

Comments

  • edited July 2015

    PROLOGUE: Chapter 1: The Governor of All 

    (Remember: The mc is the son of the old man, not the old man himself <3 )

    Above the countless luminous spheres of the infinite realm glides an aged man with a ludicrous hairstyle of black and white. Wearing a white robe with hypnotizing patterns imprinted on it, the aged man emanates a celestial aura. When a mortal, no matter how capable, encounters this otherworldly senior, the frail mortal will without doubt perish from the invisible pressure. The aged man stops beside a group of floating stardust that are waiting for some kind of force to hold them together. With a small movement of his forefinger, an invisible power suddenly merges the stardust and a new star appeared.

    “About a million years already passed since the massacre but still no event happened interesting enough caught my interest.” complained the elderly figure as he played with the newly formed star he created.

     “Hmm… Though spawning brats is quite a tedious task, I guess having a batch of new sons and daughters might entertain me for a hundred years.” He reassures his empty self but he still looks quite solemn.

    He sighs. Looking down at the innumerable lights below him, he mumbles to himself. “Mortals want to be Immortals but I, who’s born immortal wants to experience the thrilling life of a mortal.”

    As if wanting to cause pain to himself, he bites his right thumb and three drops of blood float from his right finger to the surface of his left palm. Looking at the wound he dealt himself, he speculates. “Will three be enough? I had always produced a group of three children but… feeling that the multiverse is quite boring recently, I guess creating another one may amuse me. Plus, his siblings above may look quite surprised!” The elderly senior hums to himself as another drop flies out of his wounded fingertip.

    “I want to have another daughter.” He says as he pulls out a strand of white hair from his messy coiffure.

    “And the remaining three will be boys.” He adds as he plucks 3 strands of black hair.

    With a thought, a floating formation of complex symbols appears in front of him. The celestial senior places the strands of hair on the circle drawn at the center of the formation.

    Releasing the drops of blood from his palm, he shouts. “Remember! The strand you choose will be the source of your immortal power. Even I don’t understand the mystery imparted by the Heavens in each strand of my hair. Now… link yourselves!” Each of the 3 drops of blood swiftly rushes to the center and attaches itself to a strand. The color of the three strands of hair alters into a beautiful bloody red.

    “Hoho.” He chortles feeling delighted with what he is seeing. “The last drop I created is rather stubborn.” He says as he approaches the remaining floating drop of blood. “Amusing! Amusing!” He adds as he grasps the drop of blood looking quite fond of it. Playing with the
    drop on his palm, he says. “Well then, little God, you may choose any strand of hair on my head.”

    The remaining drop flies directly to the axis of the aged man’s hair whorl. It quickly fastens itself to a golden strand of hair. Unlike the other black and white strands, there’s only a piece of golden hair. Seeming quite special, the golden hair radiates a strong spiritual aura.

    “Hoho. I didn’t expect you to find it. Fine. Since I told you to choose any strand, it’s yours.” The senior says in an entertained voice as he pulls out the golden hair and places it on the center of the formation. When the golden strand arrives at the center, its color changes into a vivid blend of gold and deep red.  Looking at the golden reddish strand, he says. “Growing another one will take me innumerable millions of years. Throughout my lifetime, I only grew two! One was sacrificed for a critical purpose… making this last one unquestionably special!”

    With a snap of the man’s finger, the intricate formation vanishes and the unused strand of hair returns to him. After a few minutes, three of the four hairs transform into a spherical void.  

    Author's Notes: strand of hair = The Heavens bestowed a mysterious power related to immortality in it.

  • I feel like this story has almost infinite potential. 

    I give it a thumbs up.
  • I like the premise of an immortal wanting to experience the tribulations of a mortal rather than the usual story which usually consists of the MC's all consuming drive to be an immortal. Don't get me wrong, I love a good xianxia, but it's still refreshing to see something new. Keep writing mate.
  • edited July 2015
    ^ Thanks, RagedEclipse and robin. :D Much appreciated. I actually completed Chapter 2 already and I could post it right now but I had a promise to myself that I'll only post 3-4 chapters a week. It's cause I'd rather have a consistent no. of updates a week than an irregular one. 
    But if ever you guys would rather have the unpredictable rate of release, I can do it you know. Just tell me :D 
    But expect times like 7 chap in Week X then in Week Y, there will be none haha. (It's cause I'm quite busy xD)

  • Regarding updates, whatever's more convenient for you. 
  • Message from the noob author: This is a spoiler-ish about the chapter. This message also shows how insecure the author of this book is. Please read haha.

    Please accommodate this author’s selfish ambition.  I had a whim of writing a chapter about building territories. Feeling that the editor inside me agrees, I decided to push through with this chapter even if the mc’s stayed as a strand of hair in almost half of the chapter and no important development happened.

    Me right after contemplating whether to continue it or not: Yes! Muahaha! I have limitless powers. No readers can stop me! I don’t care if they drop this cause this is how I want the story to go *coughs then cries*

    Me who’s about to post this in the discussion: ^That is not true!!  I need you all!!

    Anyways, I’m sorry if the mc is useless in this chapter *bows* but I assure you, you’ll enjoy this chapter. I hope so…

     

    “If ever I can be an immortal, I will without doubt erect lands.” – from the noob author who’s completely overwhelmed by her limitless powers.


    PROLOGUE: Chapter 2: Erecting Territories

                    Except for the reddish golden hair, all the strands became black holes that seemed to have the ability to devour everything. “This Little God… I don’t know how but he should absorb every bit of power in the golden hair immediately or else he will dissipate into nothing and the golden hair’s ability will be wasted.” The otherworldly senior deduced while scrutinizing the remaining strand.

    He sighed. Dismissing his concern for the strand, the old man descended to the black hole on his lower left. He entered the void and he arrived in a place that seemed boundless. The place was overflowing vastly with the color white and there was nothing around him except for the woman on his left and a dark square pocket of the infinite realm in front of her. Seeing that the man she was waiting for was looking at her, she immediately bowed. “Welcome, creator.”

    The lady on his left had facial features bewitching enough to cause wars and disasters in the mortal planes. It truly was a beauty worthy of a Celestial Being.

                    Approaching his daughter, he initiated the same casual conversation he uses when meeting his children for the first time. “Little one, from now on, you can call me Father.” The charming lady displayed a fair smile that can warm any mortals’ hearts. “Yes father.”

    Seeing that his daughter agreed, he continued. “As the Immortal daughter of the Governor of Heavens, you now have the chance to erect numbers of spaces! And those spaces will be the territories you will oversee in your entire lifetime!”

    Suddenly, her face was in awe from what she just heard. Immediately, she asked. “Is there a limit?”

    The senior shook his head and continued “A space will be in the form of a sphere and they will be added to the infinite realm. Inside each of those spheres are your lands. No matter how large, how small or how many, you can shape those lands into your liking.”

    “I… That… Thank you father!” The lady bowed. Distinct happiness can be picked up from her stuttering voice. It’s obvious that she’s overwhelmed by everything her father just said.

    The old man nodded. Unexpectedly, his atmosphere changed. “You can build the lands you desire now but remember, conceiving life is forbidden for an Immortal! Out of the thousands of Immortals, only Yahweh and I are permitted by the Heavens to do so! Or else, a punishment befitting for a traitor of the Heavens will fall upon you! When that time comes, even I can’t help you.” With a powerful voice, he stressed to his cowering daughter an important law of the Heavens.

    “I… understand.” Seeming to gauge the real weight of what her father just said, she nodded repeatedly.

    “Okay. You can now continue.” The celestial senior smiled in order to change the atmosphere.

    The lady in the alluring gown lifted her hand releasing millions of specks of light. The group of specks flew to the pocket in front of her and in a second, the specks turned into millions of sphere. After doing so, sweat covered the face of the white-skinned lady. Breathing heavily, she yelled with all her lingering might, “Construct!” The millions of spheres shuddered. Inside each sphere grew thousands of floating clouds.

    Looking at the territory her daughter created, the old man chuckled. “Haha. Ladies sure have extravagant tastes. I guess she inherited my artistic talent!”

    There were no clay, dust, nor dirt. Rather, millions of kilometers of clouds in solid form occupied the inside of every sphere. White and blue lights enveloped the place of clouds making them more beautiful. With a snap, water appeared in specific spots, some large enough to be called oceans, others were small in size like a pond. Then she lifted her hands and clumps of clouds grew in some parts looking like mountains of cotton.

     “Finished?” The lady nodded. “Well then, here comes my part.”

    The aged man blew at the space in front of him. His breathe turned into the wind itself and it immediately entered every space her daughter created. As the wind enveloped every land of clouds, millions of mysterious creatures appeared. Trees that were larger than the mountains grew, agile winged beasts flew, and giants whose roar can be heard throughout the land became alive. The spheres developed and were full of life.  

    “Now… for Mortals. Oh. Wait. What’s the name of you territory?” The old man glanced at his completely surprised daughter. She was gaping at the creatures her father created. “This… I…” The dumbfounded lady was speechless. Seeing this, the senior smiled and said “Well… Why don’t you sit first.” Suddenly, a chair materialized. “And think about it for a while.” Since she was given the time to absorb everything that happened to her, she thanked her father.

    Outside the lady’s void, the strand which was once red and gold in color became completely red. It released an aura as powerful as the aura of the golden hair feeling as if it’s undeniably profound. Afterwards, it transformed into a spherical void larger than the other voids.

    A few minutes passed. The lady who’s a while ago pondering stood from her chair. Noticing this, the man asked. “Finally selected a name?” The lady nodded and replied “Sacred Lands” Realizing that the name’s a bit cheesy, the lady blushed which made the old man burst into laughter. “Hahaha. I knew that the name I chose suits you! Hahaha. Your Immortal name is Mary. Mary of the Sacred Lands.” Mary revealed an affectionate smile that indicated that she is fond of her name.

    A meddlesome message from the noob author: 

    She is not related to the Bible's Holy Mary. (Maybe… only a bit  haha Im so sorry *bows repeatedly* Please don't drop this) Anyways, my first name is actually Mary. Since the land the girl in this chapter erected is based on my liking, I decided to use my name. :D

    “Okay now for mortals…” Directing his attention to the pocket in front of him, the man bit his thumb. From the wound, a drop of blood flew out. The drop dispersed to every spheres his daughter created and then came down a bloody rain.  Before the rain reached the ground, it combined into groups forming human-like figures. After a few minutes, mortals of different types were formed. There were some who had gills and a few had wings. Though most had the form of the senior and his daughter.

    Mary’s expression was beyond delight. This will be the territory she will govern. It was exactly how she envisioned it. Brimming with contentment, she bowed, her head close to the ground. “Thank you very much father!” The aged man chuckled and said “Now… it’s time for your brothers. Wait for them a bit and we’ll all together transcend to the Higher Planes, the place the Heavens built for Immortals”


    Author’s Notes:

    Space = Sphere

    Mortals = from a reaaaalllyy small amount of Immortal blood (the same goes for the Immortals but the Creator’s more generous to them)

    Creatures aside from Mortals = from Immortal breathe (haha. Can’t think of anything besides breathe) = trees, birds, etc.

    Governor of Heavens = aged man/senior/elder/celestial being

    Mary = me

  • edited July 2015

    Message from the noob author: This message is a brief overview of Book 1. If you’re curious, you can view it.

    While I was making drafts, I realized that:

    In Book 1, our MC will not train. *sighs*

    ~ Chapters 1- 5 is a veeerryy long prologue. The prologue shows how our MC came to life and why I love the MC.

    (The flow seems a bit slow. Do you experience those moments when the event you imagined ended in a flash but when you tried to write it, it’s actually quite long)

    ~Chapters 6- 10 emphasizes how smart our MC is. He’ll read books then he’ll encounter puzzles. Anyways, I did this because I love smart MCs. Death Note anyone? (My fave anime wohoo)

    The training will start in Book 2. I'm actually really excited for Book 2 haha


    PROLOGUE: Chapter 3: Foolish Questions

    The same development happened to the Immortal of the second void. The territory he built were dyed in the colors of red and black generating an atmosphere of violence and war. “This insane son of mine acquired my violent temper!” The senior said as he heard explosions taking place in his son’s territory. “Haha! Watching him will be fun!” The amused senior applauded at the scenes happening in front of him.

     The son named his land as Anarchic Planes and the old man named him Lufte. “Lufte of the Chaotic Panes. Hahahaha! I like it!” Lufte madly laughed.

    (Lufte = war in Albanian)

    The celestial man’s interest was definitely piqued by his third child. Completely uninterested and feeling that everything he’s doing was a bother, the youth only created a piece of sphere with a few ordinary small lands floating above the waters here and there. Nothing special was seen.

    The old man asked his son why he had done so. After yawning, his son answered in a nonchalant manner. ”I don’t have any interest in joining a government.” Hearing this, the old man laughed “Haha! Now this son is as lazy and as stupid as me! ”

     Apparently entertained, he gave his son the Immortal name Yzal and Yzal named his land as Yzal’s Land. Upon hearing the name of the youth’s territory, the old man burst into laughter. He then knew that the name Yzal suited the youth in front of him.

    (Yzal = Lazy)

                    It’s finally time for the child inside the largest void. Brimming with excitement, he quickly entered the massive black hole. “Out of my 27 children, he’s the first one ever to unite with a golden strand! I wonder what he looks like. Oh! I actually already picked out a name just for him. Tetu!” the senior thought as he examined his surroundings.

    (Tetu = stubborn in French)

    The environment inside the immense void was actually the same as the environment in the smaller voids. “Greetings Creator” An alluring voice resounded in the place. Turning around, the aged man saw an appealing young man about 16 years of age. With golden eyes that brimmed with dignity and wisdom, the air he gave off seemed enigmatic but noble. “This successor… I don’t know what he’s thinking.”

     The celestial senior let out a chuckle and said “You’re quite courageous to ask for and connect with a golden piece of my hair!” With no response, the alluring youth just stared at the elder in front of him. “Seeing that you are trying to examine my soul, I am really amused!” The old man said while smiling widely. He did not imagine that the stubborn drop of blood will turn out like this. “I guess I need to change his name” the celestial senior thought.

    The senior continued with the usual discussion he initiates to his children. A minute passed, he reached the critical part of his talk. Producing a compelling aura, he said with a commanding voice. “I must warn you! Even if you have the power of the golden strand, you cannot make life! No Immortal except for Yahweh and I are allowed by the Heavens to do so!”

    Staring at the youth who’s not making any movements, the old man felt that the young man might do something foolish and so he repeated his warning with an even more forceful voice. “If ever you’ll do something stupid, you will never be able to transcend to the Higher Planes and even more so, to the Heavens cause you’ll immediately be executed!”

    For a few minutes, silence filled the air. Breaking the quiet atmosphere, the young man finally responded, “Father… I have something to ask.”

    “Hmm? Continue.” Old man stared at his son with curious eyes.

    “Do the Mortals below have the chance to become Immortals?” The youth asked with an expressionless face.

     The old man appeared to be confused by his son’s odd question. “Of course they can, even if they only have a meager amount of my blood, they still can be immortals because they are made from one.”

    “How?” The charming youth asked suggesting that he was interested in the topic.

    Seeing the change in the youth’s character, the old man snickered. “Haha. It’s simple. By gaining insights and by building their power, if they reached their maximum potential, they can be called an Immortal. I don’t know the specifics of how it happens but the Heavens allows it. Though based on my knowledge, their powers will be weaker compared to us who were born an Immortal.”

    “Hmm… What is this child planning?” thought the old man in suspicion.

    The alluring young man in front of him showed an innocent smile. “Father, I only have one question. Though it’s inappropriate of me to request of you to do this. But please promise me that you’ll answer my last question.”

     As he looked at the youth’s respectful face, the elder’s expression became a combination of curiosity, bewilderment and amusement.

    He laughed and said, “Haha. I promise!” placing his right hand to his left chest.

    Seeing this, the youth nodded and bowed. “Thank you father.”

    The face of the young man grew serious. “Ahem. Father… If I ever create a life, will the heavens permit it to live and allow it to transcend to the Higher Planes if it’s powerful enough?” the youth asked in a tense voice. 

  • Message from the noob author: Finally! I copy pasted something haha *see the summary*Anyways, the message below is as important as my previous messages.

    THIS IS AN EXPLANATION REGARDING A LOT OF THINGS IN THIS CHAPTER: You’ll also know why the prologue’s like this.

    Bacause I’m a noob author, I feel like I need to explain myself when noob scenes appear in my story.

    My thoughts after reading Chapter 4: Gosh. That MC is sooo stupid! Why is he sacrificing his Immortal prowess in order to become a weak mortal? And it’s just right after he receives it. Plus, what kind of explanation is that?!?! Ugh. Dropped! (I dropped my own story haha)

    Explanation: “I’ll tell you a secret. Something they don’t teach you in your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because were mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again” – Achilles from the Troy movie

    I guess only a child of an Immortal can understand the whims of a child of an Immortal *sighs* Anyways, I actually based the youth’s thoughts on that quote of the movie. Please understand haha.

     

    PROLOGUE: Chapter 4: Convincing his Father

    Surprise spread across the face of the old man. The old man can now vaguely understand what the child in front of him is thinking. “I can’t believe it. He wants to betray the heavens and produce a life but why? What is his reason that is important enough for him to sacrifice everything?” pondered the old man seriously.

    The senior who was a while ago whimsical became serious. He knew that this is an important matter because it involves challenging the Heavens. “Since I vowed, I’ll answer your question but you are not allowed to do something preposterous without my consent!” the old man said in an imposing manner.

    The youth became light-headed on account of experiencing half the aged man’s power. “I… I understand.” The young man still a bit distracted nodded because he knew that in front of his creator, he can’t do anything that may disregard him. But even if the youth agreed, he’s still planning to persuade his father. “I should conceive a life in front of my father or else, if the Heavens hastily slays me, my creation may not be able to arrive at any sphere. It will only float in the cosmos until its final breathe. If my father is there, I am assured that that life will be guided to a sphere.” The youth said to himself.

    The old man sighed. “The heavens will not interfere because the mistake of the creator is not the mistake of his creation and the mistake of the creation is not the mistake of his creator. Therefore no ties, even by blood, can destroy a soul for another’s crime unless the fault is equally shared.”

    Hearing this, the young man’s face became composed. In a flash, the youth dropped to his knees and slammed his head to the floor producing a loud bang. Even though the wound from the impact instantly healed as soon as it appeared, contrasting his fair skin, there were still small traces of wet blood that showed how strong the impact was.

    “Father, I know you understand me! Immortals who are born Immortals are said to be the chosen ones because they hold in their hands ethereal gifts bestowed upon them by the Heavens but I and you, father, disagree! They lead an empty life with the power they didn’t get themselves and the riches they know they don’t deserve! This longing… This desire for the mortal world is so deep that even I can’t understand where it came from but even so, I’m prepared to challenge the heavens and be a mortal!” pleaded the youth as he raised his head up while his eyes stared at his father’s.

    “This….” Seeing his son’s resolute eyes staring at him, his heart quivered. “I feel like I now understand his previous actions. Out of all the things this young man in front of me can inherit, he received my envy for the mortals and my strong yearning for the mortal world!” The old man looked at the son who’s kowtowed in front of him. His gaze was warm-hearted and a bit sympathetic.

     Every time he conceives a child, the child randomly acquires a particular something from him. Some inherits his personality. Others takes in his virtues and his desires. There’s even one who gained a bit of his unique power. “Foolish!” the old man shouted in a dynamic tone.

    Bang! The youth once again slammed his head to the floor. “Please… accommodate your selfish son’s only wish.” begged the youth in a resolute manner.

    The old man clicked his tongue. “Tch. His potential as an Immortal will be of course wasted if he dies but… Even if I let this guy go, I’m certain that he’ll someday still disobey the Heavens! And that is worse! Cause even I then will not know where his creation will go!”

    One speculation after another conflicted in the celestial senior’s mind. “No! I can maybe change his mind by letting him experience the dominance Immortals emit that even I enjoyed. But this…” Looking at the youth in front of him. He thought. “He seems so determined...”

    After seriously thinking, he finally decided. “I feel that it’s better if he does what he wants now…  That way I can guide the mortal’s core to a place where it can feel fulfilled.” Sighing, he says to himself in a lonesome manner. “This son of mine… I understand what he’s feeling because I resembles him the most. We both… want to accomplish something!”

    “Alright! You can do as you wish. But remember, as a mortal, you can only rely on yourself. I will absolutely not help you! You are on your own and so if you die, you can never transcend to the Higher Planes and the Heavens, the place that you truly should be in!”

    Hearing this, the youth quickly stood up. Happiness covered his face. He bowed “Thank you, father!” His voice was filled with satisfaction and gratefulness.

  • Message from the noob author: Are you interested in what I'm feeling right now? Well then, please read.

    UGHH. IM FRUSTRATED. THE PACE IS FUDGING SLOW. I REALLY WANT TO RIP THIS STORY INTO PIECES AND WRITE A FASTER PACED STORY. (Don’t worry. I will not drop this. Haha. But I’m barely hanging here)  Anyways, I’ll make the pace faster this time. Thanks for the patience guys if ever someone’s still reading it. *sighs*


    PROLOGUE: Chapter 5: Brave Soul

    The look on the old man’s face was somewhat glum. For a very long time, the senior had not experience the fleeting feeling of love but now he actually senses that he might grow fond of the youth in front of him. But now, he has to let his son go. The old man sighs. “I’ll support him a bit in his first few years as a mortal. After that… I’ll let him roam free”

     The youth turned around, letting his back face the old man, sat cross-legged and said “I owe my life to you father. Thank you very much.” With the use of his sharp polished nails, he slit his left wrist. Feeling the pain, he closed his eyes and merged his self with the world. Positioning his soul at the cut wrist, out came a drop of blood with a hint of gold.

    The old man became astonished. He didn’t foresee that his son was able to absorb all the golden hair’s power to the point where even a drop of his blood had hints of its influence. Back when the otherworldly elder used his first golden strand, its capability’s potent enough that the Higher Planes shook and knowing that only he, the Governor of Heavens, and Yahweh can multiply it, he’s convinced that the strand’s quite exceptional.

    “Haha! This mortal will become strong!” declared the old man in his head.

    Returning his confident eyes to the youth in front of him, he said. “You’ll definitely be alright... I’ll wait for you in the Higher Planes.”

    In only a few seconds after the blood flew out, the youth’s body convulsed. “Waaaaah!” The tormented youth outcried feeling as if the whole of Heavens is stepping on him. His veins were clearly protruding out of his already bluish skin. His eyes rolled making it completely white. Clenching his fists, he exerted his final force pushing the drop of blood to any sphere below him.

    Witnessing the pain the youth is experiencing, the old man did not how to respond. He expected a lot for a punishment from the Heavens but the scene in front of him was beyond his expectations. When he caught sight of the drop of blood shooting randomly to any sphere, he snapped his finger and out flowed a small force, barely noticeable. The force guided the drop of blood to the star he constructed moments ago.

    The youth still in deep pain howled and that howl made the Higher Planes tremble. “I… regret… nothing.” the youth utters in a weak voice. Out of nowhere, a blinding light suddenly illuminated the void that made even the Governor of Heavens blind. A sound that seemed to be from heaven rang. “ Foolish Immortal! How dare you disobey the rules of the Heavens?!”

     Bang! A deafening explosion took place. Its intensity was even heard by the countless planes below.   

    In a moment, the light departed. Replacing it is a long deep silence. The senior still motionless looked at the smoldered body of the youth in front of him. His bones were distinctly seen. Half the beautiful youth’s head was gone and scattered around him were his veins and blood. The once fair skin turned into a massacre of black and red. In an instant, the remains of the youth was vaporized by a lingering particle of light.

    “A brave soul… I hope you obtain the things I desire.” the senior muttered remembering the son he created moments ago. Living for millions of years,   a trace of sadness was actually seen on his face. He’s sad because of three reasons: the loss of the son who inherited his strongest desire, he realized that he’s not fearless enough to defy the Heavens and his feeling of helplessness and hopelessness against the King of Kings, the Heavens.

     Viewing the star where he placed the drop of the youth’s blood, he said “Your name is Riku, the powerful, the brave, the ruler.”

    As if removing the sorrowful thoughts, he breathed out a lot of air. He left the void and with a flick of his finger, the void disappeared. Staring at the remaining three voids, he summoned his children. “My children! We will now depart!” In less than a second, three fine youths about 15 - 18 years old appeared in front of him.

    “Greetings, father” the appealing youths bowed. As a reply, the old man nodded.

    Peering at the youths in front of him, the memory of the horrendous scene returned to him.

    As if she waited for the right time to ask, Mary questioned. “Father, a while ago, I heard a howl and an ear-piercing explosion. What exactly happened?”

    The old man displayed a wistful smile. “It’s nothing…”

    Wiping out his pessimistic thoughts, he said in a joyful tone. “Anyways! I have something great to tell you all!”

    Seeing that the expression of the youths became delighted and feeling contented with it, the elder continued. ”Since you all originated from me, except for Yahweh who I am equal to and his children who you are equal to, you are the strongest Immortals! Oh! And the youths next to you are your siblings! Haha. You’ll soon meet your older brothers and sisters but don’t worry, they will not harass you because even if they are millions of years older than you, you all have equal power!”

    The faces of the youths beamed with excitement. Noticing the joyous expression of his children, he added. “That is because no matter how many years you practice as an Immortal, since you already reached the peak of your potential, you can never, ever grow stronger. Believe me… I know.”

    Hearing this, the atmosphere around the youths became unhappy.

    Like a brat, Lufte stamped his feet. “Wait. Why?! Why?! Why?!”

    “I… I believe I can still get stronger! As strong as you, Father!” Mary said convincingly

    “Father… Is it because the Heavens opposes it?” guesses Yzal. Yzal concluded so because the only ones that can impose such rule is the Heavens.

    “It is the Rule of Heavens.” The old man said as a smile appeared with a hint of grief.


    Author’s notes: Since HALF of Book 1 and the chapters of prologue just ended, I just want to let everybody know that my head hurts and:

    soul = given by heaven

    blood = body/core

    hair = powers

  • Cheers for the chapters. Eat some food and relax for a bit. 
  • So more hair equals more power? Hmmmmm..... smells like Dragon Ball to me....
  • tripeace said:

    So more hair equals more power? Hmmmmm..... smells like Dragon Ball to me....

    Or maybe some BoBoBoBoBoBoBo
  • Added to the Directory.
  • Interesting. Its got potential. Please keep on continuing the story, I would like to read more. Thnx for the chapters. xD
  • Wait...'Since HALF of Book 1 and the chapters of prologue just ended,...' WHAT. The prologue is one-half of book 1??? 10 short chapters isn't the length of a novel, I think...But, meh *le shrug*. It's quite interesting, but is this story still on-going, or is it dropped? I kinda want to know what happens next...
    The meat jelly is watching you.
  • edited December 2015
    Wait...'Since HALF of Book 1 and the chapters of prologue just ended,...' WHAT. The prologue is one-half of book 1??? 10 short chapters isn't the length of a novel, I think...But, meh *le shrug*. It's quite interesting, but is this story still on-going, or is it dropped? I kinda want to know what happens next...
    Sadly, I will not continue this :( As for the reason why, I guess I feel that my writing skill is nowhere near polished. The story's plot, flow and grammar may take a turn for the worst, making it terribly miserable and full of plot holes, if I will ever continue this. And I don't want that to happen. XD 

    But THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR ENCOURAGEMENTS. I totally, really, seriously, truly, honestly, genuinely appreciate them! :)

    - Penpals :) (the author of the story) Evergreen is one of my personas in WW haha.

    P.S. 
    @immoralimmortal I just noticed what you said myself! I guess I was a bit high when I wrote that XD These five chaps, along with the other five chaps I never posted, were supposed to be a very lengthy prologue. This is quite long compared to the norms and so I then thought that these chaps should be integrated into one book. But as you have said, normal novels aren't like that, thus, proving once again how half-baked I was as a writer. XD 

    P.P.S. Gosh. Immoralimmortal, your name's so catchy that it will forever be stuck in my head
  • Evergreen said:

    Sadly, I will not continue this :( As for the reason why, I guess I feel that my writing skill is nowhere near polished. The story's plot, flow and grammar may take a turn for the worst, making it terribly miserable and full of plot holes, if I will ever continue this. And I don't want that to happen. XD 

    But THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR ENCOURAGEMENTS. I totally, really, seriously, truly, honestly, genuinely appreciate them! :)

    - Penpals :) (the author of the story) Evergreen is one of my personas in WW haha.

    P.S. 
    @immoralimmortal I just noticed what you said myself! I guess I was a bit high when I wrote that XD These five chaps, along with the other five chaps I never posted, were supposed to be a very lengthy prologue. This is quite long compared to the norms and so I then thought that these chaps should be integrated into one book. But as you have said, normal novels aren't like that, thus, proving once again how half-baked I was as a writer. XD 

    P.P.S. Gosh. Immoralimmortal, your name's so catchy that it will forever be stuck in my head

    Oh, I see. Pity. Maybe you could get back to it when you get a bit better? XD

    Personas, huh? What's the other ones, and how are they different from each other?

    Stop flattering me, you. (n˘v˘•)¬


    The meat jelly is watching you.
  • Hi i would like to ask if this story will develop any romance? If it is, is it a harem or OTP?
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